Raising Confident Soccer Players: A Parent and Coach Perspective
As both a parent and a coach, I’ve seen the power that confidence has on our youth and their individual sports journey. Sometimes it’s the kid who takes their first brave shot at goal, their first strong defensive tackle, or positive dribble on the ball to beat defenders. Other times, it’s the quiet player who finally finds their voice to call for the ball - a clear step forward in social engagement. Those moments stick with you and serve as clear reminders that their confidence can be just as important as their technical ability.
Here’s the tricky bit: as adults, we often want to help so much that we overdo it. Too many instructions. Too much correction. Too little room for kids to discover things for themselves. That’s where “over-coaching” sneaks in. What I’ve learned, both from watching my own kids grow and from being on the sideline with other young players — is that confidence grows best in environments where kids are encouraged, trusted, and allowed to make mistakes.
🎯 Keep It Simple (Less Is More)
I used to feel like I had to fill every quiet moment with instruction when I would coach. And as a parent, I’ve learned that kids inevitably tune you out if you give them too much at once. Overstimulation is real. (I like to imagine it from a job perspective - a boss presents you with seven new tasks to perform out of the blue. You’ve got questions, need guidance or clarity, and before you know it it’s…wait…what was the first thing they wanted again?)
With that in mind, I strive to focus on just one key skill each practice or game.
“Today, let’s work on keeping our heads up while dribbling.”
“This week, we’re focusing on spacing — let’s spread out!”
It’s amazing how much more confident players feel when they can latch onto just one idea instead of juggling five at the same time. It’s a “one step at a time” methodology, and the puzzle pieces (skills) will come together eventually.
🙌 Celebrate the Small Wins
Nothing lights up a kid’s face faster than recognition. And I’m not talking about scoring goals — I mean the little victories:
A player tries a new move, even if it doesn’t work.
Someone remembers to pass instead of just booting the ball.
The shy player finally shouts, “I’m open!”
Recognize these when they happen. Applaud their efforts. Let them know you can really see them and their achievements. As a dad, I know how meaningful it is to see your child be proud of themselves. As a coach, I’ve realized that pointing out these small wins builds the kind of confidence that lasts longer than a single goal ever could. It builds trust, it fosters community, and a long way with the families of your players too!
🗣️ Choose Words That Build Up
Kids hold onto our words. What we say on the sidelines or in the backyard can leave lasting impressions with them. Instead of correcting every mistake, I try to frame feedback in ways that keep their spirits high:
Swap “Don’t do that” for “Try this next time.”
Keep cues short and positive: “Nice hustle!” or “Right idea with that pass!”
Show them you noticed their effort, not just the result.
Both as a parent and a coach, I want my kids — and the kids I coach — to walk away believing they can, not worrying about what they did wrong. It’s why it’s also important to bridge these moments with guided questions to help them solve problems on their own without spoon feeding the answers. Things like:
“How can you make it easier for your teammates to pass to you?” and “Where is the open space right now?”
Challenge their thinking: “Is it better to dribble or pass here - why?” or “Where could we be more successful if we passed somewhere else?”
Showing patience to our youth while giving them enough breadth to answer a question (even if it’s a wrong answer), can guide them to problem-solving successes.
✅ Final Takeaway
Here’s the heart of it: kids gain confidence by playing. Scrimmages, small-sided games, even backyard kickarounds — these moments give kids the freedom to try, fail, laugh, and try again.
It’s tempting to step in at every mistake. But some of my favorite memories are watching my kids figure things out on their own — the lightbulb moments when something clicks. Their confidence in soccer isn’t built through endless drills or constant corrections. It’s built in the little moments — when our kids feel safe, supported, and celebrated.
As parents, we cheer for them. As coaches, we guide them. When we create an environment where they’re not afraid to try, that’s where their love for the game (and their belief in themselves) thrives. Because at the end of the day, the best gift we can give our young players isn’t just a new skill. It’s the confidence to keep playing, keep growing, and keep smiling on the field.
